Monday, April 13, 2020

Quality Laundry Products

Quality Laundry Products


I love quality laundry products. Why? What's so invigorating about laundry detergent, fabric softener sheets, a container of Tide, or a cup of Arm and Hammer Clean Burst Powder? Well, think about it. It's a dirty world we live in. We're all scrapping and clawing for everything we get. We rush, rush, rush. We sweat it out at work; sweat it out at the gym; and sweat it out trying to survive the nerves on a first date. We labor to make money, make time, make friends, and make dinner. We break our backs to hold everything together. There's plenty that makes us stink.

So it's nice to put on something nice, soft, and clean smelling once in a while-if only to remind us that life's got its softer side too. In the words of the great TV philosopher Norm Peterson from Cheers: It's a dog eat dog world and most of us are wearing milk-bone underwear. So it's kind of a safe-haven to know that we can get up each morning and slip our canine-bitten rears into some jockey shorts that have been cleansed and caressed by that cute little teddy bear on the Snuggle fabric softener box.

Without laundry products, imagine what kind of world we'd live in. Remember the stinky kid in fifth grade that never took a bath and that everyone gave a dollar to in order to get him to eat something gross? Well, I got news for you; take away the Wisk, All, Tide, and Arm and Hammer Mountain Rain and suddenly we're all the smelly kid. Imagine going out on a date with a girl who smells like your fourth period gym socks in junior high. Imagine sitting in a business meeting while wearing a sports jacket that reeks of the residue left when your two-month old spit up on it last week. Not a pretty picture is it.

And so, my friends, my point is simply this: be grateful for the little things in life we take for granted every day. Be grateful for the coffee maker that makes it easy for you to fix a satisfying cup of coffee right there in your kitchen each morning. Be grateful for the mouthwash that makes your breath bearable and guarantees that there must be another reason why no one will go out with you. Be grateful for your friends who, although they borrow money and won't pay it back, to this day have not sold you out by telling your wife or significant other about the year you spent in Vegas cross-dressing, headlining at a gay bar, and insisting people address you by your professional name "Madame Testosteronia." And be grateful for laundry products. They keep us clean, freshly scented, and soft as a baby's backside. Yes, Norm Peterson, it might be a dog eat dog world; but who cares when your milk-bone underwear smells Downy fresh?



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